Home Alone
Casey is off at a party today, and Aleesa went to visit her mom for the weekend. Here I sit, alone. Lonely. Quiet. Bored.
NOT!
Despite the mounds of homework I have for next week, I am absolutely delighted to have the place to myself. Everything seems less annoying when it’s just me here. Not to mention that all the other creatures in the house are blessedly peaceful as well. The dogs are playing quietly, the cats are all sleeping, and the ferret stayed out of the couch during her recess. I watered the plants, cleaned up the kitchen, and enjoyed a nice cup of coffee. I didn’t watch a single cartoon, I haven’t argued with anyone about money or chores, and no one has pestered me for any type of sexual activity. Seriously, it makes me wonder why anyone would choose to not be single. I don’t even have to cook lunch or dinner if I don’t want to! This is greatest way to spend a weekend!
An hour later…
Man am I lonely. I miss Aleesa. It’s too quiet in here, and nothing is on television. I tried watching cartoons, but they just don’t have the same luster without a five year old chattering in the background. And I wish Casey were here. We need to talk about our budget since I balanced the checkbook. Not to mention the fact that it’s a kid free weekend, but what’s the point if I can’t enjoy a little screaming sex time? The dogs are asleep, the cats are napping, and the ferret is tucked into her bed for the day. I don’t know how to cook for just one person anymore and I don’t want a can of soup. How does anyone survive being single? What a waste of a perfectly good family weekend!
The Ferret Fiasco
Aleesa is lonely since her Pre-school friends live too far away to visit. Concerned, we decided she needed a playmate at home. Being animal people, we knew a pet would fit the bill. Being people prone to occasional stupidity, we chose a ferret.
We had good intentions. Aleesa often asked for a puppy to walk and care for by herself. But living in downtown Chicago, over my cold rotting carcass will she go out alone to walk a dog unless she is accompanied by an armed guard. We own a small pride of housecats, so a kitten was out of the question. Though we pondered several other pets, none fit our requirements until we saw an adorably energetic ferret.
Ferrets use a litter box like a cat. They play ball like a dog. They’re small, and can live in a cage like bunnies or guinea pigs. Ferrets are durable, scrappy little weasels who enjoy rambunctious activity. They can independently play in a ferret proofed house, but are happiest interacting with people. Like intelligent adults, we thought through the entire decision, countering our misgivings with rationalized self delusion before paying a small fortune for a 3 month old albino from our local pet store.
Aleesa named the little ferret Ellie. They scampered about the house, Aleesa squealing and Ellie making her cute throaty grunts of excitement. We contentedly read our Ferrets For Dummies book and weasel-proofed our apartment. When the two friends collapsed exhaustedly, Casey and I beamed, basking in our excellent parental acuity. How premature.
One evening I preheated the oven to start dinner. But when I went to put in the casserole, the oven was cold. Casey discovered a tooth marked disconnected wire under the stove which prevented the gas burner from lighting. The deceptively tidy litterbox in Ellie’s cage was explained when I came across the “ferret corner” behind a chair in the sunroom. An evening relaxing with Ellie turned into a treasure hunt to find the ferret hidden deep within the stuffing of the couch. Any late night trip to the bathroom set off a willful cacophony of spoiled ferret protestation against being stuck behind bars. We became dismayed and embarrassed, wondering what to do? Should we return Ellie to the pet store? Could we exchange her for a goldfish?
No. We had a responsibility, both to Ellie and to Aleesa. Setting an example that it’s okay to quit when the going gets rough was unacceptable to us. Aleesa would learn that owning a pet is a responsibility, one that’s not alway easy or fun. We would learn to read the For Dummies books BEFORE buying an unfamiliar pet. Ellie could come out to play several times a day, but only under close supervision.
Perhaps Aleesa has also learned that no matter how hard it gets, we won’t walk away from her the way her mother did. Ellie was worth every penny after all.
They Call Me Tia 
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